4/20 today. That means two things: 1) Marijuana smokers around the world have yet another reason to get baked. 2) It's Adolf Hitler's birthday. (or as I prefer to call it, "Holy Crap! It's Hitler! Day".) Neither are really any cause for celebration for me, but as anyone who knows be can tell you, all I need is an excuse to paint my face. And I must say that I make the "Egyptian Death Mask" look look good. There was something else that simultaneously tickled my funny bone and made me gasp in surprise.
It was the first Faceless Lady, the one who's always smoking the strange cigarettes. I saw her while coming back from a late-night jaunt to the store to get windshield wiper blades. She was under the taco joint's sign like normal. She wasn't smoking anything this time. In fact, I think she was just looking at me as I passed. It didn't register at first but then it occurred to me: She was wearing a Hitler mustache! No lie. It was on her not-a-face just below where her nose should have been. And, of all the things she could have done, she waved as I passed.
I do believe she's got a hilariously twisted sense of humor.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
I Made a Cursed Bracelet (On Accident)
Magic is everywhere in our world. It exists in almost-nauseating amounts. It bleeds from everything humans have made contact with. Doubly so for things we consider important. One might consider it the inherent potential of anything once so imbued by the human spirit. For better or worse.
During the episode with my last roommate, I almost mechanically churned out little polymer clay charms. Mostly for practice. Sort of to while away the time until the police took action. Anything to stay out of my room when the cops showed. The waiting was killing me. A few of them were of my signature piece: a strawberry. I finally made something of a color-inverted strawberry charm on a chain bracelet last week. And it has been nothing but trouble.
As with anyone else, my negative feelings tainted my work.
Lo and behold! The bracelet is cursed.
Since I made it, myself and two others have worn it. Our moods have been endlessly dragged down and nothing but bad luck has followed the wearer. It's currently warded away in a jar of dried rosemary but I don't know how I'm going to get rid of it, or at least divest it of its curse. Or for that matter, what I should do with the other charms I made around then.
So much wasted clay.
During the episode with my last roommate, I almost mechanically churned out little polymer clay charms. Mostly for practice. Sort of to while away the time until the police took action. Anything to stay out of my room when the cops showed. The waiting was killing me. A few of them were of my signature piece: a strawberry. I finally made something of a color-inverted strawberry charm on a chain bracelet last week. And it has been nothing but trouble.
As with anyone else, my negative feelings tainted my work.
Lo and behold! The bracelet is cursed.
Since I made it, myself and two others have worn it. Our moods have been endlessly dragged down and nothing but bad luck has followed the wearer. It's currently warded away in a jar of dried rosemary but I don't know how I'm going to get rid of it, or at least divest it of its curse. Or for that matter, what I should do with the other charms I made around then.
So much wasted clay.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
A Disconcerting Procession of Demons
I mentioned some time ago, that I knew someone I thought might be an incubus. He's no worry now since he's now in Turkey to study bears. I also mentioned near the middle of last December that I literally had a roommate from Hell. It turns out that demonic roommates have been somewhat of a trend since I got to college.
My first roommate was human. A bit of a redneck, but not an idiot (which is nothing to bemoan, speaking as an Arkansas native). About two weeks in to the first semester of freshman year, he made a friend and wanted to switch rooms. The Housing office at our school screwed me over and, despite my protests, I was stuck with the other guy's roommate.
He was a nice guy. He was also one of those people who seems to smell funny (and sort of unpleasant to me) all the time. Which doesn't make sense since he was an almost painfully clean individual. Now I'm not going to call him a demon, per se, but he struck me like a river spirit with junk in the trunk (if you'll pardon the Miyazaki pun). He displayed a metanormal nature in that he seems to amplify the tendency of things to equalize. Things neither failed nor resoundingly succeeded in his presence. We got on amicably for a the rest of the year.
I didn't have such luck after that.
The next year, I ended up with a self-avowed bipolar redneck who liked to show me his "skinnin' knives". Not a bad guy, but something struck me as wrong about him. A little testing and research and I found out what it was. It seems that my third roommate was a lower-level demonic entity attached to the slaughter of animals. I doesn't do to ward against your roommate, so I changed rooms at semester.
The fourth guy was a ghost. Figuratively. I never met him, so I can't vouch for his nature. The fifth I have already detailed in a previous post and have no desire to relive that experience now. That brings me to the latest and (not-so-)greatest.
He claimed to be 34, living in the dorms. It didn't take long for me to have suspicions, but longer for me to act on them. It turns out he, like the one I met last semester, is an incubus. And he liked little girls. I finally acted on it when I walked in on him accessing certain content on the Glorious Series of Tubes. The Police were notified and they got working pretty quickly on the matter. Still, there was the matter that he was a demon to deal with. It took some work, but some silver chains (silver screws with just about everything but the Fae (which begs the question of what I am again)) and a strange Hebrew incantation later, he was arrestable (and will continue to be so until the designated authorities (in this case, the Police) release him from custody). I hate working proper magic, but a seal-and-binding was necessary to prevent loss of human life.
Back to topic (or tl;dr, as it were): all my roommates are demons!
I'm SO getting single next year.
My first roommate was human. A bit of a redneck, but not an idiot (which is nothing to bemoan, speaking as an Arkansas native). About two weeks in to the first semester of freshman year, he made a friend and wanted to switch rooms. The Housing office at our school screwed me over and, despite my protests, I was stuck with the other guy's roommate.
He was a nice guy. He was also one of those people who seems to smell funny (and sort of unpleasant to me) all the time. Which doesn't make sense since he was an almost painfully clean individual. Now I'm not going to call him a demon, per se, but he struck me like a river spirit with junk in the trunk (if you'll pardon the Miyazaki pun). He displayed a metanormal nature in that he seems to amplify the tendency of things to equalize. Things neither failed nor resoundingly succeeded in his presence. We got on amicably for a the rest of the year.
I didn't have such luck after that.
The next year, I ended up with a self-avowed bipolar redneck who liked to show me his "skinnin' knives". Not a bad guy, but something struck me as wrong about him. A little testing and research and I found out what it was. It seems that my third roommate was a lower-level demonic entity attached to the slaughter of animals. I doesn't do to ward against your roommate, so I changed rooms at semester.
The fourth guy was a ghost. Figuratively. I never met him, so I can't vouch for his nature. The fifth I have already detailed in a previous post and have no desire to relive that experience now. That brings me to the latest and (not-so-)greatest.
He claimed to be 34, living in the dorms. It didn't take long for me to have suspicions, but longer for me to act on them. It turns out he, like the one I met last semester, is an incubus. And he liked little girls. I finally acted on it when I walked in on him accessing certain content on the Glorious Series of Tubes. The Police were notified and they got working pretty quickly on the matter. Still, there was the matter that he was a demon to deal with. It took some work, but some silver chains (silver screws with just about everything but the Fae (which begs the question of what I am again)) and a strange Hebrew incantation later, he was arrestable (and will continue to be so until the designated authorities (in this case, the Police) release him from custody). I hate working proper magic, but a seal-and-binding was necessary to prevent loss of human life.
Back to topic (or tl;dr, as it were): all my roommates are demons!
I'm SO getting single next year.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
An Analysis of the Visions
I've done some thinking about the visions the hitchhiker forced on me yesterday.
The starry sky. Night obviously. No clouds. The stars were bright against the black sky. The Milky Way was clearly visible so the view was a way from bright lights, probably away from the city.
The room full of sleeping people. They were dressed as normal people. Just adults. There were aisles of things so I assume it was a market of some kind.
The first Faceless Lady atop a car. She's standing up and it looked like she was looking around for something (or so I assume being unable to follow her lack of eyes). She was dressed as she always is, a windbreaker with its hood up and jeans. Something about her suggests she's expecting something to happen. Uncharacteristically, she isn't smoking. Against her stood a backdrop of a few indistinguishable trees and the same starry sky. The car was white but otherwise nondescript. I don't know (or care) anything about car models so I don't really know anything else about it.
The image of a gentleman and then myself, arms raised, against a storm. That's a curious one, indeed. I once knew a guy (who sort of reminded me of my brother) who could direct the weather by singing or playing a bass guitar, but that was about a year before I arrived here. And he was very much from another Place. (That story will have to be told eventually) The storm was, well, stormy and dark (sans the lightning) so I assume that it, too, was at night. As for the bit about myself against the storm, no idea.
A pack of small dogs surrounding a skeletal figure. The dogs were mostly chihuahuas, but all pretty much all toy breeds. Their hackles were raised and it looked as though they were planning to pounce en masse. As to the figure itself, it was humanoid and genuinely looked like a charred skeleton cowering against them all. It had no face that I could see so much as a skull-like visage which bore the traditional rictus grin. They were on pavement which looked somewhat damp. A pool of light surrounded the figure and the dog, but outside it was dark. Another night scene.
The hitchhiker's words. "You are armed for the night ahead." No idea what that means, but all of the visions were of apparent night scenes (excepting the sleeping people). So I have no real idea what connects all these scenes, except perhaps the referenced night itself. And I don't even know if it means a literal or metaphorical night at that. Strange things, though. Sleepers out of place. A man, myself, and a storm (and I don't really get along with those). The first Faceless Lady out and about. Dogs and a skeleton.
Something is on its way. And I think I'm scared.
The starry sky. Night obviously. No clouds. The stars were bright against the black sky. The Milky Way was clearly visible so the view was a way from bright lights, probably away from the city.
The room full of sleeping people. They were dressed as normal people. Just adults. There were aisles of things so I assume it was a market of some kind.
The first Faceless Lady atop a car. She's standing up and it looked like she was looking around for something (or so I assume being unable to follow her lack of eyes). She was dressed as she always is, a windbreaker with its hood up and jeans. Something about her suggests she's expecting something to happen. Uncharacteristically, she isn't smoking. Against her stood a backdrop of a few indistinguishable trees and the same starry sky. The car was white but otherwise nondescript. I don't know (or care) anything about car models so I don't really know anything else about it.
The image of a gentleman and then myself, arms raised, against a storm. That's a curious one, indeed. I once knew a guy (who sort of reminded me of my brother) who could direct the weather by singing or playing a bass guitar, but that was about a year before I arrived here. And he was very much from another Place. (That story will have to be told eventually) The storm was, well, stormy and dark (sans the lightning) so I assume that it, too, was at night. As for the bit about myself against the storm, no idea.
A pack of small dogs surrounding a skeletal figure. The dogs were mostly chihuahuas, but all pretty much all toy breeds. Their hackles were raised and it looked as though they were planning to pounce en masse. As to the figure itself, it was humanoid and genuinely looked like a charred skeleton cowering against them all. It had no face that I could see so much as a skull-like visage which bore the traditional rictus grin. They were on pavement which looked somewhat damp. A pool of light surrounded the figure and the dog, but outside it was dark. Another night scene.
The hitchhiker's words. "You are armed for the night ahead." No idea what that means, but all of the visions were of apparent night scenes (excepting the sleeping people). So I have no real idea what connects all these scenes, except perhaps the referenced night itself. And I don't even know if it means a literal or metaphorical night at that. Strange things, though. Sleepers out of place. A man, myself, and a storm (and I don't really get along with those). The first Faceless Lady out and about. Dogs and a skeleton.
Something is on its way. And I think I'm scared.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Time Dilation, a Shadow Hitchhiker, and Vagrant Prophecy (I think...)
Strange happenings today.
First, I lost an hour in a 3 minute walk. I had woken up about 8 and my first class was at 9. Slow going, but I was out of bed by 8:20 and ready with about 7 minutes to spare. No worries. Just a quick jaunt across campus. So I gathered my books and set off. And three minutes later, I strolled a bit late into my class.
Except it wasn't my class. I came in to unfamiliar students and an unfamiliar instructor. Awkward silence followed as all eyes turned to me. A hasty apology later, I was out in the hall checking my watch.
10:06 A.M.
I left my room about 9, so that meant I had lost about an hour in the three minutes the walk took. And I have no idea how.
The second strange phenomenon I witnessed was on the Interstate. I was on my way home for Easter. I was going a bit slower that perhaps necessary, but the clouds (and the forecast) just screamed rain and before today, I hadn't ever driven on the Interstate in the rain. Paranoia guided my hands. It seemed like there was a hitchhiker standing at each exit I passed. At first it struck me as odd since I hadn't seen a hitchhiker ever before in my life before March this year. It took a while before I realized what was really so unusual about it: they were all the same person!
The rain finally hit and forced me off the road in a small town. While waiting for the rain to subside, I heard a tap on the passenger side window. I looked over from my book to find the hitchhiker standing outside the car. There wasn't any apparent menace (unlike that last Faceless Lady) so I rolled the window down just a crack.
"Can I help you?"
"There isn't time."
Then he reached through the solid safety glass as though it were water and touched a fingertip to my forehead.
A starry sky. A room full of sleeping people. The first faceless lady standing atop a car. A gentleman with arms raised against a backdrop of a raging storm. Myself in the same position. A pack of small dogs surrounding a skeletal figure, mostly chihuahuas. The hitchhiker's voice echoed "You are armed for the night ahead."
When I came to, the storm had subsided (for a while at least) and the hitchhiker was gone. I pondered (I love that word) the vision on the short drive home. I still don't know what they mean.
An analysis must follow.
First, I lost an hour in a 3 minute walk. I had woken up about 8 and my first class was at 9. Slow going, but I was out of bed by 8:20 and ready with about 7 minutes to spare. No worries. Just a quick jaunt across campus. So I gathered my books and set off. And three minutes later, I strolled a bit late into my class.
Except it wasn't my class. I came in to unfamiliar students and an unfamiliar instructor. Awkward silence followed as all eyes turned to me. A hasty apology later, I was out in the hall checking my watch.
10:06 A.M.
I left my room about 9, so that meant I had lost about an hour in the three minutes the walk took. And I have no idea how.
The second strange phenomenon I witnessed was on the Interstate. I was on my way home for Easter. I was going a bit slower that perhaps necessary, but the clouds (and the forecast) just screamed rain and before today, I hadn't ever driven on the Interstate in the rain. Paranoia guided my hands. It seemed like there was a hitchhiker standing at each exit I passed. At first it struck me as odd since I hadn't seen a hitchhiker ever before in my life before March this year. It took a while before I realized what was really so unusual about it: they were all the same person!
The rain finally hit and forced me off the road in a small town. While waiting for the rain to subside, I heard a tap on the passenger side window. I looked over from my book to find the hitchhiker standing outside the car. There wasn't any apparent menace (unlike that last Faceless Lady) so I rolled the window down just a crack.
"Can I help you?"
"There isn't time."
Then he reached through the solid safety glass as though it were water and touched a fingertip to my forehead.
A starry sky. A room full of sleeping people. The first faceless lady standing atop a car. A gentleman with arms raised against a backdrop of a raging storm. Myself in the same position. A pack of small dogs surrounding a skeletal figure, mostly chihuahuas. The hitchhiker's voice echoed "You are armed for the night ahead."
When I came to, the storm had subsided (for a while at least) and the hitchhiker was gone. I pondered (I love that word) the vision on the short drive home. I still don't know what they mean.
An analysis must follow.
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