Phantom Cars and Drivers...

I regret not being able to post more, but this is the leprechaun's last tale. The fairy will be back soon, so here is my last tale... 

Today's subject is phantom cars. I was driving down a main highway the other day when I saw one. Now I'd heard of these before, but I'd never actually seen one with my own eyes. That's why, when I saw someone drive through this car like it wasn't there I was sure of what it was.

A phantom car is really two spirits in one. A long time ago the horse use to be the main method of transportation if you wanted to get somewhere fast. When machines came along and automobiles were there to replace horses as the main transportation, some of them were angered by their lack of use. Nowadays horses exist for show or leisure and some of them don't appreciate this. When a horse dies without getting proper use they feel like their life was wasted. These feelings are sometimes so powerful that they hang on in this world. So when the spirit manifests outside of the body aftering dieing, the spirit takes on the form of what it hates most, the automobile.

Now for the second spirit, the spirit of a human that has a massive case of what other humans call "road rage." If someone gets easily angered while driving, this anger grows and grows until they become hateful drivers. This puts off a negative aura that the phantom horse cars love to feed off of. The phantom horse cars will usually try to get these road rage drivers into a car accident to kill them. The moment that human that suffered from road rage dies, the phantom horse car sucks their soul into the car and buckles it in with a seatbelt the driver can't escape from. At that point, the driver is doomed to drive the streets angrily inside this phantom horse car until that spirit is sucked dry of its energy, at which point it fades into nothing. 

Phantom cars and their drivers usually don't come out into direct sunlight as it offers the least chance for a car accident, but on a dark night, or if its storming bad, you may see one. They usually ignore people who are peaceful while driving and prefer to seek out angry drivers to kill. 

I experienced this the other day as I said I saw one, but I didn't pay any attention to the danger it presented. I'm not angry all the time, just at times when I'm driving. This almost cost me my life and very soul. You see, an angry soul from a mythical being such as myself provides even more energy and is more tasty than a normal human soul. That is why this phantom car and driver sought me out. I was frustrated with a semi driver in front of me that was driving side by side with another slow car and getting more angry by the second. I was already yelling angrily and flashing my brights motioning for one of them to pass the other, but they ignored me. This created a deeper and deeper anger until I felt my car being rammed from the left. The phantom car was trying to force me off the road!

Knowing exactly how much trouble I was in, I knew that I only had one chance to get rid of this rider. I reached into my CD rack and searched for the one CD that could change the outcome of this situation. I found my smooth jazz CD and popped it in just as the phantom car rammed me and put me into a tail spin. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply and exhaled as the jazz music worked its magic. I went off into a ditch, but when the phantom driver found me, I was in a state of calm and it couldn't sense any more anger to feed off of. Judging me as a worthless target, he sped off in a hurry. I got out of the ditch and headed for my destination as the jazz music continued to play. I had just narrowly avoided having my soul sucked into a driver's seat and spending the rest of my afterlife as an angry driver...

Let that be a lesson to you, don't fall into the temptation of road rage, the phantom horse car and driver will kill you for your anger. 

Well that's all for the leprechaun, I'll see you around and be an inspiration to the fairy boy occasionally... 

Movie Dust Bunnies~ The first Narrative from the Leprechaun Substitute

So, I'm the replacement for the usual blogger here. He asked me to fill in, because I'm one of his few supernatural friends in this universe. Allow me to introduce myself. I am "C" and I am a leprechaun. I know that might seem hard to believe, but knowing what all gets posted in this blog, I'm sure it isn't too big of a stretch for y'all to understand. Now due to some blood contamination I don't carry all the characteristics of a regular leprechaun that the legends have told over the years.

My ears are only pointy during the full moon. I'm actually rather tall at all times, and I'm not really a trickster by any means. Finally, I bear the appearance of a normal southerner and even use words like "y'all," truly a curse indeed....

I have some pretty big shoes to fill with the fairy gone to a summer camp (I mean really, he's risking his life by going out in the middle of nature... he knows what happens when a supernatural being leaves human population). Nonetheless, I'll try my best to tell you of my supernatural tales.

Now I'm sure you've all heard of the fabled "dust bunny". These creatures are in fact real. They live in the illusion of "dust" which humans just perceive as something that needs to be cleaned. Normal folklore has dust bunnies being tiny creatures, but this is false. The average dust bunny is actually the size of the couch. They just do a good job at dispersing themselves all over the building they inhabit to stay hidden.

Dust bunnies are actually the cause of much of the sickness in the world believe it or not. Think about all the bacteria they carry around with them in their dust piles, and if any of this dust gets inside of us, we're likely to become sick. Well unfortunately for mythical creatures, the dust from a dust bunny can be as lethal as a ring of salt, and last night, I almost bit the dust... literally.

Now with all the technology that humans have invented over the years, us mythological creatures have had to adapt. Dust bunnies are no different. With the invention of the moving pictures we like to call movies, they have found a new way to hide. The dust particles mix with the light particles as they are projected onto the movie screen. Then, they wait to jump out at unsuspecting mythological beings like myself.

Last night I was at the movies watching "The Prince of Persia" and already weakened from the extra salt the Burger King employee unwittingly put on my french fries, I was an easy target for these dust bunnies. It was dark, and I was too focused on the movie to put up any sort of defense against the dust bunnies that made their way inside my body.

I was sick the remainder of the night and nearly bit the dust until I found my bottle of purified spring water from the pools of Ireland. I slowly sipped this the rest of the night until I slowly cleansed the dust bunnies from my system. I was lucky, and that was all that saved my life... luck. Luck enough to have had the right cure for the right disease.

So let this be a lesson to you mythical beings and regular humans when you go to the movie theater. Watch out for dust bunnies.

Heck, you don't even have to be at the movies, next time you see dust hovering in the light from a nearby window, surround yourself with a ring of salt until the dust disperses and leaves to find a new victim. Until next time my readers, stay safe. The universe has plenty of beauties, each more deadly than the last.

As for myself, it's time to hit the old dusty trail until I can find a new story to share with y'all.

Medical Stealth

I know I said I wasn't posting any more until after I got back, but I don't leave 'til tomorrow and this was worth note.

I got my camp physical today.  It's always fun going to the doctor.  They always ask if you have any allergies when you check in and I always think: "Hmm...  Iron burns, salt repels me, I'm compelled to count fallen rice grains, sunlight sensitive is an understatement, and ringing bells cause me a lot of pain.."

And then I respond: "Nickel gives me a rash on contact."

These aren't normal human allergies.  I mean, they're certainly signs of synesthesia, contact allergies, obsessive-compulsion, and light sensitivity, but this particular combination?  I'd sound like a hypochondriac!

On a related note, something occurred to me when I listed those banes in my head.  Only certain things display such weaknesses.

This narrows the field considerably.

It's Been a While. And It Will Be Yet.

Things have been pretty quiet in my little college town for the past little while.  The Seelie Court took over in full at Beltaine (about May 1).  They don't like to deal with outsiders as much as the Unseelie so I imagine it will be a while yet before I get invited to meet with them. (And the next transitional period doesn't start until Lughnasadh (sometime thereabout August 1)).  A pity, really.  I had been hoping to get to know them more than my one weeklong dancing spree.


The end of the school year sort of snuck up on me.  Thankfully, nothing decided to rear its ugly head in that time.  Still, I had four monologues to learn, countless sculptures to make, and three legitimate written finals to study for.  It wasn't difficult, but things were complicated somewhat when I got sick and missed one, the merciful rescheduling of which extended my tests another day and a half.  And in this time, I got subpoena'd to testify against my old kiddie-perving demon roommate.  No sooner did I get served, than the prosecutor's office called to tell me it's been rescheduled to July.  So at least that didn't mess with my tests, like it originally would have (take place on the last day of them).  On the bright side, I got 5 A's and 1 B.  My cumulative GPA is now exceptionally high (over 3.7).


Moving out wasn't too easy.  I got everything out all right, but my RA took forever to check me out and he always found more dirt where there wasn't any (which he attested to himself) before.  I'm not gonna call that supernatural, but it was certainly annoying.  Then I had to wait almost an hour outside the building where the Theatrical Art classroom is located to collect my supplies.  It didn't take long to get them, but the waiting and having to inconvenience my professor didn't help my mood.  Plus I had to transport the cursed bracelet which probably didn't help my day.  Incidentally, I found a way to uncurse it and will do so by running it under moving springwater this summer, but I'll get to that in a minute.  Then I had to go and sell my books back.  For wholesale.  But seeing how they're the only game in town, I was railroaded.  I went back to my car to get a form to turn into the registrar and a seat full of stuff fell out.  A lot of things broke and/or spilled.  By this point, I was very, very annoyed and started throwing things in.  Then something awesome happened.  Objects started flinging themselves back into the car!  Apparently I have telekinetic tendencies (but I haven't tried again since I calmed down, so maybe it's an emotional thing).  It didn't improve my mood then (especially with all the other bad things that crossed my path shortly after), but it was pretty darn cool.  


On a completely unrelated note to anything, one of my bestest friends in the Universe saw the first Faceless Lady.  She was walking away from my friend and she heard glossolalic whispers coming from behind her.  So now others have seen her and maybe we can get to know more about her.


I'm home now and like I said before, I'm not too involved in local fortean happenings.  So things have been pretty quiet thus far.  Next week on Friday, I'm going to BSA National Camping School and then on to work at Camp Orr until July 3.  There's a lot of weird stuff out there and I hope to tell all about it on this blog when I get back.  Until then, I've got a friend who's going to hijack this thing and tell a bit of his own goings on.  You'll love it.  I swear.


See you in July!

Faceless Humor

4/20 today.  That means two things:  1) Marijuana smokers around the world have yet another reason to get baked.  2) It's Adolf Hitler's birthday.  (or as I prefer to call it, "Holy Crap!  It's Hitler!  Day".)  Neither are really any cause for celebration for me, but as anyone who knows be can tell you, all I need is an excuse to paint my face.  And I must say that I make the "Egyptian Death Mask" look look good.  There was something else that simultaneously tickled my funny bone and made me gasp in surprise. 

It was the first Faceless Lady, the one who's always smoking the strange cigarettes.  I saw her while coming back from a late-night jaunt to the store to get windshield wiper blades.  She was under the taco joint's sign like normal.  She wasn't smoking anything this time.  In fact, I think she was just looking at me as I passed.  It didn't register at first but then it occurred to me:  She was wearing a Hitler mustache!  No lie.  It was on her not-a-face just below where her nose should have been.  And, of all the things she could have done, she waved as I passed.

I do believe she's got a hilariously twisted sense of humor.

I Made a Cursed Bracelet (On Accident)

Magic is everywhere in our world.  It exists in almost-nauseating amounts.  It bleeds from everything humans have made contact with.  Doubly so for things we consider important.  One might consider it the inherent potential of anything once so imbued by the human spirit.  For better or worse.

During the episode with my last roommate, I almost mechanically churned out little polymer clay charms.  Mostly for practice.  Sort of to while away the time until the police took action.  Anything to stay out of my room when the cops showed.  The waiting was killing me.  A few of them were of my signature piece: a strawberry.  I finally made something of a color-inverted strawberry charm on a chain bracelet last week.  And it has been nothing but trouble.

As with anyone else, my negative feelings tainted my work.

Lo and behold!  The bracelet is cursed.

Since I made it, myself and two others have worn it.  Our moods have been endlessly dragged down and nothing but bad luck has followed the wearer.  It's currently warded away in a jar of dried rosemary but I don't know how I'm going to get rid of it, or at least divest it of its curse.  Or for that matter, what I should do with the other charms I made around then.

So much wasted clay.

A Disconcerting Procession of Demons

I mentioned some time ago, that I knew someone I thought might be an incubus.  He's no worry now since he's now in Turkey to study bears.  I also mentioned near the middle of last December that I literally had a roommate from Hell.  It turns out that demonic roommates have been somewhat of a trend since I got to college.

My first roommate was human.  A bit of a redneck, but not an idiot (which is nothing to bemoan, speaking as an Arkansas native).  About two weeks in to the first semester of freshman year, he made a friend and wanted to switch rooms.  The Housing office at our school screwed me over and, despite my protests, I was stuck with the other guy's roommate.

He was a nice guy.  He was also one of those people who seems to smell funny (and sort of unpleasant to me) all the time.  Which doesn't make sense since he was an almost painfully clean individual.  Now I'm not going to call him a demon, per se, but he struck me like a river spirit with junk in the trunk (if you'll pardon the Miyazaki pun).  He displayed a metanormal nature in that he seems to amplify the tendency of things to equalize.  Things neither failed nor resoundingly succeeded in his presence.  We got on amicably for a the rest of the year.

I didn't have such luck after that.

The next year, I ended up with a self-avowed bipolar redneck who liked to show me his "skinnin' knives".  Not a bad guy, but something struck me as wrong about him.  A little testing and research and I found out what it was.  It seems that my third roommate was a lower-level demonic entity attached to the slaughter of animals.  I doesn't do to ward against your roommate, so I changed rooms at semester.

The fourth guy was a ghost.  Figuratively.  I never met him, so I can't vouch for his nature.  The fifth I have already detailed in a previous post and have no desire to relive that experience now.  That brings me to the latest and (not-so-)greatest.

He claimed to be 34, living in the dorms.  It didn't take long for me to have suspicions, but longer for me to act on them.  It turns out he, like the one I met last semester, is an incubus.  And he liked little girls.  I finally acted on it when I walked in on him accessing certain content on the Glorious Series of Tubes.  The Police were notified and they got working pretty quickly on the matter.  Still, there was the matter that he was a demon to deal with.  It took some work, but some silver chains (silver screws with just about everything but the Fae (which begs the question of what I am again)) and a strange Hebrew incantation later, he was arrestable (and will continue to be so until the designated authorities (in this case, the Police) release him from custody).  I hate working proper magic, but a seal-and-binding was necessary to prevent loss of human life.

Back to topic (or tl;dr, as it were): all my roommates are demons!

I'm SO getting single next year.